Fuck sustainability
Don’t get me wrong now, I’m not taking issue with the concept of sustainability – by all means shoot for the stars people – it’s the use (or bastardisation rather) of the word that displeases me so. With sustainability claims from companies these days, me thinks the lady doth protest a little too much (a little far too much). They need to stop beating us over the head with their big green credentials, the beautiful gaslighting* rogues!
How sustainable a product is should be both inherent and apparent but interestingly, we don’t get to see under the bonnet much when these claims are bandied about. Sustainability isn’t a greenwash - it’s a green smokescreen that covers up any true form of transparency. Whenever I hear something is sustainable, I automatically think I’m being lied to, and anyway, I like the sound of ‘dirty coal’ more than the clean stuff (alas, I am a pervert). Clean coal? Has a real ring to it, doesn’t it? Those marketing fellows in the coal industry really do have some talent. While we’re at it, I think the sanitation industry could do with some of its own rebranding – how’d you like the sound of fresh sewage? You heard it here first folks, the age of brown washing is amongst us!
Enough of that filth - back to sustainability. You can already picture the advertising scene or marketing campaign - you’re in a forest (or somewhere green - it’s always a green space because green is the colour of the environment**). Words like eco-design or conscious flash before your eyes. A gentle voice calls out “We care” or “At this company we understand how important sustainability is”. What they really mean is – “All we care about is that you buy our product”, and “At this company, we understand how important you think sustainability is”.
It’s already been shown that some of these companies have been slapping sustainability labels on materials that are only marginally better - “So in the end we decided on Fukushima this year. The radiation in Chernobyl last summer was a bit too much”. When you’re using materials that are a fraction better (if even) but continuing on with mass production of product after product, can we really trust your green credentials? The answer to this rhetorical question is no. So yeah, fuck sustainability.
I would like to sincerely apologise for my language and abject anger throughout this short outburst, but I hope you will appreciate the frustration and vexation that comes with consuming so much rubbish on a daily basis. Perhaps I should take up that job in the sanitation industry after all.
*our gaslighting only ever uses sustainable biofuel
**green is also the colour of money
This article was originally published by bog bodies press in mnemotope issue 003.
